NonViolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

NVC Cheat Sheet, By Kate for you

1. The concrete actions we are observing that are affecting our well-being.
2. How we feel in relation to what we are observing.
3. The needs, values desires, etc. that are creating our feelings.
4. The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

I. Observing without Evaluating.

Observation with evaluation mixed in: Doug procrastinates

Observation without evaluation: Doug only studies for exams the night before.

II. Identifying and Expressing Feelings.

Words like “ignored” express how we interpret others, rather that how we feel. Here is a sampling of such words.

Abandoned distrusted put down
Abused interrupted rejected
Attacked intimidated taken for granted
Bullied misunderstood unheard
Cheated neglected used

How we are likely to feel when our needs are being met

Affectionate enthusiastic overjoyed
Amazed excited moved
Appreciative friendly pleased
Calm fulfilled radiant
Cheerful gleeful satisfied
Concerned happy serene
Delighted intrigued touched
Encouraged mellow upbeat

How we are likely to feel when our needs are not being met

Afraid disgusted irate
Agitated disheartened jealous
Angry displeased jittery
Annoyed disturbed leery
Ashamed dull listless
Bewildered exhausted miserable
Cold furious panicky
Dejected helpless perplexed
Detached hesitant repelled
Discouraged impatient scared

III. Basic Human Needs

1. Autonomy – to choose one’s dreams, and plan for fulfilling dreams and goals.

2. Integrity – authenticity, creativity, meaning, self-worth.

3. Celebration – to celebrate achievements, dreams fulfilled and losses (mourning).

4. Interdependence – community, appreciation, emotional safety, love, respect, support, trust, understanding, warmth, honesty.

5. Play – fun, laughter.

6. Spiritual Communion – beauty, harmony, inspiration, order, peace.

7. Physical Nurturance – air, food, exercise, protection, rest, sexual expression, shelter, touch, water.

IV. Request – clear and positive

Good Requests:

- I would like to drive below or at the speed limit.
- I’d like you to tell me one thing that I did that you appreciate.

Not Clear Requests:

- I’d like to get to know you better. (This is not clear, maybe state: I’d like to have lunch next week.
- I’d like you to prepare dinner more often. (This is not clear, maybe state: I’d like you to prepare dinner twice a week.)

- Kate and Amazing Artwork by Lucas Antoniak

Healthiest Housing Markets

BuilderOnline.com rated the top Healthiest Housing Markets and Nashville, TN was number 11!!

My client sent this article to me today.

"Promising developments indicate that housing may be close to bottoming out." and "Some markets will undoubtedly recover before others. Builder, with the help of Hanley Wood Market Intelligence, recently analyzed the strongest and weakest among the 75 major home building markets. Five of the healthiest were in Texas cities that added jobs last year and experienced very little depreciation in home prices, if any. Several markets in the Carolinas, Fayetteville, Ark., Indianapolis, and Nashville, Tenn., also made the list of the 15 strongest markets, which tended to be places where pricing didn't get out of control during the housing boom."

BuilderOnline.com article:

11. Nashville, Tenn.
2008 total building permits: 8,142

Nashville, the 20th largest home building market, operated under the radar of the national housing boom. It didn’t ramp up wildly during the boom years, and it’s not contracting viciously during the bust. Median home prices remain an affordable $159,800, propped up by a growing job base. Seventy percent of the residential construction is single-family. Some of the market’s resilience stems from above-average population growth of about 2.3 percent a year. Back in the day, 2005, Nashville accounted for 16,654 permits; it now runs at about half that level. But that’s a better performance than most major markets.

Buy Doug Hill . . . pictured above. It is located 25 minutes outside of downtown Nashville - just a hop, skip and an interstate drive away.

- Kate

Kate Cooks

Remember a couple of days ago when it was warm and sunny? Well it is not right now! So I thought I would brighten your day with a new recipe!

I've been into Crock Pot Cooking lately. Why? Because I was able to cook this delicious meal yesterday and clean the house at the same time - it was a beautiful moment for me. It was like a warm sunny day, well ok, it was close.

Bonus! This meal is economical. Who doesn't like that right now?

Kate Cooks Chicken in a Crock Pot

Ingredients:

1 pound of hormone free chicken breasts

1 green bellpepper

1 onion

4 garlic cloves

1 can of green olives

white wine from a box (hey its hard times! Anyone want to buy one of my listings so I can upgrade to bottled wine?)

1 box of free range chicken broth

1 can of diced tomatoes with green chilies (adds a little spice but feel free to use plain)

A couple of spoonfuls of tomato paste

Seasonings - Salt, pepper, dash of sugar, oregano, thyme, rosemary (just sprinkle them in to taste)

2 cups brown rice

serve with a side of sauteed broccoli or salad

and you can have a glass of box wine to drink (I like Angel Juice Pinot Grigio)

TOTAL COOK TIME 4 hours on Low.

1. Plop the chicken in the bottom of the crock pot and season with salt and pepper.

2. Chop up your onion, garlic, bellpepper and toss those in the pot.

3. Add can of tomatoes and pour some chicken broth and wine till the juices almost reach the top. You can use any measurement of broth versus wine. Also add your tomato paste and seasonings. Cover and don't peek.

4. Cook 2 hours, chop your mushrooms and add them. Do a thick chop.

5. 30 minutes left add some olive juice and olives. Add as many as you like! Take the chicken out and tear it up and put it back in the pot.

6. Brown rice takes about 1 hour to cook. I used the rest of my chicken broth and water to cook the brown rice. I also added as little olive oil.

Presto! It will be fantastic. Serve this yummy food over the brown rice and don't forget your side of greens!

I hope you enjoy,

-Kate